Where'd you go Lauren?

During lunch this week with my co-workers, small talk ensued and my eyes were opened to the stark reality that I need to pursue my passions.  Lauren, what do you do when you're not working?  In my head, the obvious (and overwhelming) answer was absolutely everything.  Cleaning, cooking, shopping, playing Barbies, building Lego houses, washing the dogs, balancing the checkbook, stocking up for impending doom at Costco, making sure everyone has their shots, clean teeth and hands.  No really, what do you do for fun?

I wanted to slide under the table, but I was the dummy that asked the conversation starter in the first place, and to further complicate matters, I was wearing a dress.  Luck would have it, all three co-workers were musically inclined.  Shit.

The truth is, I will do just about anything- but my list of things I want to do tends to be overpowered by things I should be doing.  I don't know if it's working mother guilt, traveling wife guilt or just plain guilt- but the things I am passionate about take time away from my family.  I've struggled with this for too long.  Ultimately, someone needs to push me to do it and not let up.

What I really want to be doing is learn how to play the guitar, buy a paddle board, start taking riding lessons and buy an old, leaky LR Discovery to cruise around in on the weekends.  I miss the ocean-  growing up on the beach and being land-locked for 13 years is wearing thin.  My most recent proposal to by an old Mastercraft ski boat was veto'd.  Either I can't win, have really bad timing or my head is too far into the clouds (maybe it's all the above).  Another area of denial is motorcycles.  My fear of them has recently been overpowered by a strong desire to do something dangerous.  To be honest, I fight this to not appear a copycat to Charlie's passion.  Since he's moved on to his new bike, the vintage SR in the garage is calling my name.  

I am having an identity crisis.   Where'd you go Lauren?